I’m going through changes
I’m dealing with pain
Not knowing the answers
Not understanding the game
Do I play to win
Or do I give up and loose
This path I did not choose
Yet I’m here
Surrounded with fear
Poisoned with lies of doubt
Why can’t I take a break
When I did not partake
Yet I’m here
Is it wrong for me to be selfish
When there are those who suffer more
I feel so close
Yet so far away
I dream of life
Yet live in nightmares of death
Why is this happening to me
Yet I’m here
Why are changes so scary
Make us feel uncomfortable
We feel alone
Yet we are not
We all go through changes
We all have our doubts
We all struggle
But it’s up to us to decide how to deal with our change
We cannot control the outcome
Control is just an illusion
A lie
But changes are necessary
They allow us to grow
Because no matter how life goes
You are here
Because God is near
So don’t be scared
But embrace it
Because God has plans for you
And he’s going to change your life forever

Be true
To who you are
Stay true
To what you are
Be real
Feel
Express
Digest
Let everything out
Shout
Cry
Bring joy
Be silly
Be yourself
Don’t try to perceive to be something you’re not
Be alive
Live every moment
Who cares what others will find out
It’s okay to have a past
We all have one
We all have messed up
Don’t be scared or shy yourself of what you are
Sometimes the ones who have nothing have everything
They are real
They give when we don’t
Maybe we could learn from them
Maybe it’s time we stop this society nonsense
This disease that we are passing to our generation
We shouldn’t teach them to be like society
But to be real to be true to be who they are
To be a voice
To have a choice
To accept those who are different
To work with those who think different
To open their minds to the world
To enrich their lives with knowledge and opportunity
That I would rather be true
And be mocked and hated
Than be fake
And be accepted
And never know what it’s like to be a true genuine friend
To know that you are fine with what you are
That you are a mess up
But still can make a difference in this life
Now that’s a life I strive for
Not a perfect one but a real one
One where I can be true

I want joy
Not happiness
And you ask why
Happiness is external
While joy is internal
You’re always searching for the pursuit of happiness
But I’m sorry to tell you that it will never be enough
Because happiness comes and goes
It never holds on
Always one step behind
But joy
Now that’s something to live for
You’re not searching for something to fulfill you
But something that becomes a part of you
Joy comes when you make peace with
Who you are
What you are
Where you are
Why you are
Even in your darkest times you can have joy
It’s spiritual
And helps us overcome obstacles
That God can bring me peace and joy
And love to a world that deserves none
Yet He still does
You can only have joy until you need no more than the truth
And the truth will set you free
Let’s bring joy to the world
And be good to all

How do you define value?
What is it worth?
What do we long for?
What gives us hope?
What makes us live?
What makes us give?
Because I value God
Who gives me the strengths
I value family
Who love me no matter the lengths
I value friends
Who help through hard times
I value life
For giving me purpose
I value my job
That helps me pay my bills
I value my home
Where I can be myself
I value others
Because they are truly my sisters and brothers in God
Because everyone has a value in God’s eyes
He values you and me
He knows our worth
He gives us purpose
He gives us hope
So what do you value?
Is it worth it?
Value what makes you who you are today

Don’t be troubled by the world around you
Don’t be fooled by those who don’t love you
Because you care
While others despair
You fight for what’s right
While others are just trying to get through the night
So why don’t I just be me
You’ll just be you
Yet we are told that we are different
That we have to follow the ways of the world
No matter how hard others try to change you they can’t
They don’t understand why you do what you do
Until we put ourselves in each others shoes
We will never open up
We will never love each other for who we are
That I am who I am for a reason
God made me this way
He didn’t make me the way you wanted me to be
But he made me for his purpose
For his glory
I may not be the smartest, I may not know every verse of the bible
But what God gave me is the gift of love
Love that I’m more happy to share to others
Because in end of the day
No one cares what you know about the Bible
But what you do with what you know and set an example
And love everyone for who they are
As  God said to Moses ‘I am who I am’
Why be ashamed of who you are
There is only one you
Stop imitating what God didn’t intend you to be
Be real
Be true
Be you
Because there is only one version of you

I wish I wish
Swish splash
A young eager girl making a wish at a wishing well
Makes wishes every week
Hoping to find what she seeks
She pulls out a penny
Get her hand ready
But sees an old poor man in the distance
All fragile and torn
There where he sat laid a sign saying a penny for a thought
Dropped her only penny into his cup
The old man smiled
‘Have you ever heard of the tale of the lost pirate arghh?’
She shook her head
‘Well you are ready for a treat mate’
He went on to tell her adventurous stories of pirates
And she would bring him a penny every week
And he go on to tell her about dragons, stories of trolls, of mermaids, of princesses
She giggled, she cried, she was in awe
But one day she skipped towards where he sat as usual
But he wasn’t there
There on the sidewalk was his sign but also a book
A note attached to it read ‘Now you’re ready for own adventures’
When she opened the book it read
‘The Wishing Book: Adventures and Beyond – For an extraordinary girl’
She filled with tears but walked towards the well and dropped her last penny
‘You were my wish’

I’m not perfect
I make mistakes
I don’t know what to do
Nor do I know what to say
I’m just a scared  kid
Shivers in fears
Covered in tears
I messed up
I messed up BIG
I hide till I’m left with no pride
Just guilt
Full of lies
Full of hate
That I started
That I wish I had not created
But no turning back
I fall down on my knees
Torn
Broken
Can’t carry this weight no more
Please
GOD
HELP ME
LET ME BE FREE
My chains are broken
God lifts my chin up
And says
‘There is no mess that I can’t clean up
All I need is for you to trust me
To let go
You are a forgiven
Don’t sin no more
For all sin comes with a price
With a sting
Because when I give you truth
There will always be grace’

It’s okay to be different
It’s okay to be weird
Why should I be ashamed
Why should I fear
Why would I want to be the same
When I have a different name
Have a different purpose
Because there’s nothing wrong with being different
Because you are unique
There’s no one like you
So be yourself
Stop caring about what others think
You stand out from others
You don’t care to follow the crowd
You’re the only version of yourself
If you died, no one could replace you
You have a funny sense of humor where only a selective few would understand
You strive to change
You look for new ways
Routines and sameness bores you
You want to explore the world
And experience life to the fullest
To see all the possibilities
But if you followed the crowd you would of never experienced what you are doing today
So I would like to say that I’m proud to be weird
To be different
I don’t care anymore
Because my weirdness makes me happy
It makes me who I am today
So you can love me for it
Or if you don’t I could care less
Life’s too short to worry about what others think about you
So thank you God for making me weird

I’m scared
Wondering if anyones there
Can you hear me God?
Why is this happening to me?
I may appear fine but reality I’m drifting away
I don’t know what to do
I feel lost
Searching for answers
Yet I don’t listen
I’m too stubborn to admit that I need help
I believe I can do it on my own
Yet I can’t
God can you hear me?
Yet no answer
I begin to lose hope
Begin to blame
Fall into deception
That I loose connection
Not understanding right from wrong
Now I’m mad
Why won’t you listen to me God?
You said you would listen?
I’m empty
I’m broke
I need your help
Begin to cry
Stranger comes up to me and hands me a piece of paper and said I don’t know why but something in my heart told me you needed this
It read:
Don’t worry, there is still hope
Don’t give up now
I’m here to listen
What I didn’t realize is that God was listening along, he was just waiting for me to listen
For me to pray
For me to let go
Sometimes God uses others to talk to us
We just need to listen
So thank you God for listening to my prayer
Amen